amends

sticky. sticky. sticky.
we peel off the scabs of our wounds, it is bluntly torturous.
but we continue solely driven by impatience.
we are anxious for a resolution.
something we could say, do, just to make this conflict go away.
little do we remember.
time has the power to heal all wounds is usually the case,
but not so much in some instances,
because with time comes the losing of memories.
we never believed that all was spoiled, the past was luscious, take a bite out of its flesh & you feel...ecstasy. but my God! the future, it is air, & when we try to take a bite we find our teeth snapping together, bone against bone, & a chaotic feeling immerses our pride as we walk away from the wreckage...the flapping pages of a cherished journal.
we don't want them to forget us, but a bigger fear would be cherry red blood, flowing, & pain luminating out of pupils of black. to pick, to poke, to test the waters after the shark attack. we, with patience of a child long for our PRIZE! OUR COMFORT! THE REBIRTH OF LOST LOVES! of lost friendships, of lost purpose. we practice that self-control & fail ourselves countless times, pleading "let this be it! let me finally have my answer!"
it is silence, it is failure, it is torture, it is passion, multiple gut wrenching climaxes of the heaviest sighs known to man.
to have been forgotten, unforgiven, still sore, bitter, awkward & unwanted.
we face multiple hearts, cracked by another's, by each other's. some still warm beating with hope, some turned to stone silent & still, some cold & dead with only sharpness & cynicism.

i must forgive to be forgiven.