bean

i'm trying to find a metaphor.
trying to find a metaphor.
"find a metaphor!"

i can't.
all i can say is that i really do miss that friendship. it had an awkward tension to it which not many of my friendships have left to them. it kept me on my toes. before i really gained control over who i wasn't supposed to be. i feel guilty, for numerous things. always being short, or naive & reckless with my words. i really cut with my sarcasm & criticism. i wish i could take all of that back.
i can't.